UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
