Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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