this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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