Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
