Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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