you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
