I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
