I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
