i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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