Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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