my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
