dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
