butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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