Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
