She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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