I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
