Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
