spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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