They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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