So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He passed out mid-signature
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
