so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
