Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
