i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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