$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
