dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
