Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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