She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
