i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
