i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
