I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
