haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
