Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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