I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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