Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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