This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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