I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
