You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just want to make out with him forever
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
