I wish I could punch you in the face.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
