my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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