That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
