Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
