She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
