so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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