If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
