you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
