You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
