Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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