i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
