when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My penis needs a shock collar
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
