Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
