is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
soo... how was my night?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
