Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
