Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
