idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
