I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize