I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize