I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
