I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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