Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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