Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
