I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
