Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
