dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
